Monday, 22 October 2012

Baby on the way ...

....after 7 years of trying to conceive. A failed go at IVF last year (Jan 2011) & losing hope it would ever happen. My naturally conceived surprise miracle baby is due this Thursday 25th October.

I cannot begin to tell you the shock and joy we have felt so far. Not just my husband and i but family and friends also. There are so many people excited to meet our little miracle its overwhelming.

Having ME i was very concerned about the pregnancy. I had no idea I was even pregnant until i was 6 weeks. There were signs but we didn't believe them as in the past it was constant heart ache looking at a negative test. To see those 2 little lines was amazing!

Up to about 16 weeks it was a struggle with nausea, constant indigestion and awful head aches, but once i got past that bit i felt like i was on top of the world. I've not felt "well" mentally or physically in so many years its been like living someone else's life.

With only a few days to go i am constantly being asked if Im fed up yet because most women at this point just want baby out!! I can honestly say i am not fed up at all. Yes Im eager to be rid of the killer indigestion and meet my little boy (yes its a boy!) but i really aren't fed up. I can't help but appreciate every bit including the aches and pains. I never thought id get the chance to look down and see a bump or feel my baby move and never did i think i would feel so "well". I have no idea how Im going to feel after and i don't want to take it for granted that we've actually got pregnant so if this is it for me then Im savoring every moment.

Im looking forward to holding baby in my arms because then it will be real.

Until then i wait for your arrival my little miracle.

Helen x

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Being encouraged to enjoy myself & share this with others

Wow it has been a long time!

I won't go into what's being going on as it will make a very long read lol!

This post is actually for a specific reason. Its about encouraging CFS/ME sufferers.....mainly myself!... to get out, socialise, have a little fun & not be scared to share this with others.

I know all too well this is not an easy task. Believe me I know. If I've not got headache, I'm stuck in bed. If I'm not stuck in bed I'm wrapped up on the sofa feeling like I have been run over by a bus. However I have found if I apply a little time for myself doing something I enjoy or find fun I often find my symptoms are less & my recovery time from said activity is a lot quicker.

I have not found this out by chance. A friend of mine introduced me to Reverse Therapy. I'm not going to go into details about it I'll leave that up to you but I will say this "Reverse Therapy is NOT about mind over matter." (as many people including some professionals believe the key to CFS/ME recovery is.)
I will also say it has NOT cured me....(yet!!) ..... but I have found it very beneficial.

If you have read my other posts you will know about my visits from the benefits office....twice in one year!!
That situation is really the key to this post.
I believe it was a "friend" who rang on both counts. I also believe this "friend" was just so ill informed of CFS/ME they didn't understand that wearing jeans, driving a car, walking the dog & going to Salsa, the first time round & crafting the second time round we're actually not benefit fraud!!!
On both visits the benefits people we're very friendly & said they encourage hobbies & some activities as these are a crucial part of the healing process with CFS/ME.

Even though nothing came of the visits as I was doing nothing wrong I have felt imprisoned, scared to leave the house, feeling like I am being watched & unable to do anything I might enjoy. I've been scared to share times of enjoyment with friends & family for fear of a "friend" mis-understanding this & making another phone call.

I have learnt from Reverse Therapy that addressing things like my fears above help alleviate symptoms. So I'm hoping this post & later a post on Facebook will help put aside some of my fear & educate my friends & family so there won't be a repeat situation! I want to be able to share with my friends & family the things I am doing not have to watch every word I say or type.

A friend of mine made a phone call to ME North East & ESA Benefits recently, who both encourage activities, social events, fun & enjoyment to aid CFS/ME recovery. It is because of this encouragement I am doing this post & intend on doing some things this year I have not tried before, things I enjoy & find fun, also I intend to share these happy times with my friends & family.
I truly believe if I don't try to start living a little how I want & without fear I have no hope of ever having any type of recovery.

Here's to having the courage from the encouragement of others to live a life of joy, fulfilment & without fear.

Helen Laurence